These few days my mood is not so good actually.. i dun wish to be like tat, but i have to be in this way.. there are a few reasons why i feel very sad..

1. I extremely hate ppl hu got see mi but never say hi one de.. At first i thought gabriel and tat group are all like tat one de, but when i asked him in msn abt this, he said that they all all never saw mi.. maybe they dunno i'm always with zw they all most of the time.. that one i at least can understand and forgive them in my heart..

2. I personally feel that i'm actually a failure indeed.. for some reasons i think that way:
a) I'm feel that i'm a very quiet person and not sociable and interactable like them.. everytime in class so quiet one, feel a sense of loneliness in myself.. In front of boon hoe they all i also onli say hi to them and nothing else for most of the time.. among them i only know boon hoe for the most number of years since the days where the both of us did the main gate duty.. that was 2 to 3 years ago ba.. at least for him i still got chat or talk with him sometimes, be it face-to-face or msn.. But the rest.. haix.. those in prefects (whether still inside there or quit alreadi) one.. haiz.. amos, kelvin, cun ping, jasmen and william.. and cheng long also.. know him thru my mother's friend hu was working together wif her last time since when we were in Pri 6/Sec 1.. All of them also play bball one de.. usually saw them at 6 head.. haizZzzZzzZ.. maybe i should try to interact with them more.. But how?????
b) During conference call, the one who speaks the least one is also me.. always hear zs, jl, xl toking abt other things which i dunno wat to speak wif.. failure.. i dun understand why ppl say that i'm not actually very quiet when i personally feel that way... haiZzZzZzzZzz.. Maybe the period that i interacted wif them is not very long, that's why it's like tat.. Maybe i dun have the talent (天分) to tok a lot, especially during conferencing.. so wat if i can endure the longest till around 3+ to 4am??
c) HaiZzZzZz.. such a failure.. kena rejected by her*.. SaDdEd.. Den her attitude sometimes also ... ... ... HaiZzZzzZz.. dun wan to say liao la.. what for toking to me so fiercely during EL class??? Nvm.. den also dunno how to make her laugh and happy.. what a failure for me.. HaiZzZzzZz... If with my lousy character now, sure extremely damn hard for her to accept one..

At first is this week wanna go cut my hair one.. but ken say he onli go and cut his hair next friday, so i next week den go cut lo.. anyway i oso dunno where exactly the place is, the place tat zw recommend mi to go one.. he say that i muz have my own decision, decide for myself what to do instead of always follow ppl one de.. But now i dun feel tat way.. cos i always feel tat everything also my mother make the decision one.. she dun allow mi to have a chance to prove myself, dun allow mi to make my own decisions.. but this time i had enough of her liao.. wat i plan to do next friday is to first reach there and cut hair first, den after tat tell my mother abt it.. If she wan to scold mi for watever reasons, let her be ba.. anyway, what's done cannot be undone, rite? cut alreadi den wat she still expect me to do?? okie.. gotta stop writing for now le.. got time den i write again.. now is almost 5:30am and i wan to go and take a bath before having my breakfast and go to school.. today i am going to sch alone with no one else.. Dun feel like meeting ppl and go sch together for today especially thiam hee where every morning always call mi and ask mi to meet him one.. what i plan to do is to ask my mother to buy the bus concession for mi so tat i can take bus everyday to sch and avoid meeting wif him.. and tat's y when he always meet me at 7:15am outside Pending LRT station, i will always reach there either exactly 7:15am or later den tat.. haiz.. really gotta stop here for now le.. bye..